Deciding to Live

One of my favorite shows in the world is The Golden Girls.  I used to curl up on the floor with my little brother and we'd share cheesecake while laughing at the jokes we were far too young to truly comprehend.  To this day, it's one of my favorite shows and I don't mind watching the same episodes over and over; they never get old. 
One thing that the girls always seemed to do was charity work.  I never thought anything of it until recently.  I've struggled so much with severe anxiety and minor depression that it's been incredibly hard for me to live beyond the fear.  Then I thought; I wonder if people who are in need allow themselves to feel as terrible as I do.  Then I thought, perhaps if I give myself a little, I could escape my own head.
I used to volunteer at a senior care center in my hometown.  It was incredibly rewarding.  The elderly people we'd go and visit were so thankful.  They'd light up when they saw me and my girlfriends trooping down the hall, smiling, ready to talk, ready to help.  I remember one lady in particular.  I can't recall her name, but I remember her room being full of knit and crocheting work.  Intricate blankets, doilies, dolls clothes, sweaters; you name it, she made it.  Her walls were literally covered in the work.
I remember thinking to myself, this woman must either love to do this work, or she's very lonely.  I have to believe the latter because when I'd peak in, she'd set her knitting work aside and pat the side of her bed eagerly.  I'd come in, sit beside her and she'd tell me stories about when she was growing up and show me pictures of her and her family.  Though, I don't recall the exact details of what she said, I remember very clearly the look in her eyes when she'd talk to me; it was like life had been breathed into her.
I remember initially being uncertain about dedicating so much time to the work.  I was worried about boys and having fun.  Who had time to sit around with a bunch of old people?  However, the first day, when I went in and I saw all the warm, genuine smiles, I realized I would gladly come back, over and over.  And I did.
Somehow, over the years of getting older and having my own adult responsibilities, I'd forgotten how rewarding and beautiful the experience can be.  I've recently decided to go back to volunteering because it's a way to live for someone other than myself.  I have a lot to give and a lot of love in my heart.  I think this is one of the best ways to overcome anxiety and depression; to love.  It's a sort of healing that no medicine could possibly bring.  I've decided to live.  Not for myself; but for others.  I think that's the best way to live.