Introducing...well...me!

Well...it's my first blog.  I feel slightly odd sitting here in the dark, typing away on my laptop.  I can't help but wonder if anyone is really going to care about what I have to say or what I've been through in life.  I figure that's why it's taken me so long to get started.  Because there's still that little girl inside of me that is scared someone is going to come to me and say, "You just aren't good enough."
I've titled my blog Surviving will give way to Living because I feel as if that is what I've done my whole life.  Survived.  I survived a pretty traumatic childhood.  I survived countless bouts with anxiety and depression and I am surviving to this day.  Every day is a struggle and I can't determine if it's a struggle that I have no choice in participating in or a struggle that I've allowed in my life.  It's hard to say. 
I can't promise that every blog entry will be without self-pity or that I'll be able to avoid the occasional rant about how life is unfair and I hate the way things are.  I'm going to be honest.  Honest and open and vulnerable...all of which is incredibly hard for me.  I've learned a lot in my life, but most of what I've learned is that honesty isn't always the best policy.  Honesty can get you beat.  Honesty can turn your whole family against you.  Honesty can destroy whatever little fibers are holding your world together and honesty can leave you alone and sad and hurt.
I suppose that I should take a moment and introduce myself.  I'm 28 years old.  I have a wonderful husband whom I love very much.  We share a home in the beautiful state of Washington and we have two dogs, a Pomeranian named Rocky and a Chihuahua named Riley.  At this time, we do not have children.  
As mentioned above, I suffered through a hard childhood and it's left some  pretty deep emotional scars.  I've tried traditional ways of getting through it, but then I thought... other people have had the same struggle.  Some worse.  So why not share?  Why not say, Hey this sucks and I'm going to say it for those who are too scared.  I have to admit... I'm scared.  A lot of people could say, "Stop whining.  Everyone has trouble."  And they're right.  Everyone does have their troubles.  But why is it so taboo to say something about it?  Because we can't handle another person's raw, unedited emotion?  I call bull.  I think human beings can put aside their judgements for just a moment and hear one another.  Maybe learn something from one another.  Anyways, that is my hope.  And if someone doesn't like what I have to say, then they don't have to read, now do they? 
I want to tell my story.  I want people to know what's happened in my life because it happened and it affected me.  And if I can reach out to a few and maybe change their perspective on something that they've endured or maybe even something they're doing, then I might be able to make it through this life knowing that I was more than just a survivor.  I counted for something.  I made a difference.  Me.  That silly, ugly little girl growing up in Midvale, Utah.  The one who was too scared to say much.  The one who was scared to go home.  The one who everyone thought would be pregnant by 16 and addicted to drugs.  I invite you into my world.  I can't promise every post is going to be enlightened or happy because that's just not life.  Life sucks.  Life is hard.  BUT I do promise to be honest and real and unedited.  I will share my life as if happened and whatever comes of it... comes.  Are you ready?  Here we go!  :)